Excuses

You know that feeling, when you try on a pair of pants, look at yourself in the mirror and think 'these pants make me look really fat'. I'm realizing (as this happens more and more frequently) that it's not the pants that are making me look fat.

I come from a slender family, my dad can (and does) eat anything, exercises never, and is skinny as a beanpole, my mom too is slender without any effort. I too was slender right up until my late 20s, at which point a switch to a sedentary desk job, two pregnancies fairly close together, and a baby who NEVER.SLEPT.EVER (with accompanying coffee addiction and exercise aversion) started the upward climb in my pants size.

The reality is I've been hiding behind these excuses for years now, while bit by bit the scales inch higher. I'll drop weight when Jonah starts sleeping, when we have more time to cook healthier fare, when I buy a treadmill, when I buy proper running shoes, when we move to a better neighbourhood, when I have more energy, when I'm not so busy, when the weather is better. So many excuses, and still the needle climbs.

I need to stop making excuses. I'm not certain where to start, it seems so overwhelming now, but I can't keep going this way. My kids don't need a mom who can't keep up with them, or who is dead before they hit highschool.